METAPHORS IN
MEDIATION
by
Norm Page
Used with permission from the author
email:
npage@fullerton.edu
webpage:
http://commfaculty.fullerton.edu/npage
When my success rate at
small claims mediation started to decline, I decided to look at ways to increase
my influence on the process. I
inquired about the mediator's sources
of power and found:
I
decided to focus on word choice, specifically metaphorical images. Greek root for metaphor is metaphors, i.e., it depicts the sense
of one thing in terms of another that rings with familiarity. It often causes the mind to say, "True
enough! - I never looked at it that way."
Some examples of metaphors might be:
Mike Tyson is an ox.
The torch has been passed to
a new generation [John F.
Kennedy]
In
practicing my metaphors, to quiet down a class at the beginning of the hour, I
used one I heard from another professor, "Let's still the water." I was surprised as to how well it
worked.
How
does a metaphorical image get its power?
I
contacted the literature to find out how metaphors can help mediators, but found
little help. Consequently, I
decided to gather my own. First, I
isolated the key functions of mediation and tried to match metaphors to
each. Some metaphors are grand
(all-encompassing with many spin-offs) while others are specific. What follows in a list of specific
metaphors that seem to match functions (what mediators do). Later I will speculate on grand
metaphors that may be useful in mediation.
WHAT
DO MEDIATORS DO? WHAT METAPHORS
MIGHT BE APPROPRIATE?
MEDIATORS
EXPLAIN MEDIATION
"Mediation is a bridge"
"Mediation is a boat in rough waters"
·
"We need to row to the calm
side of the island."
MEDIATORS
EXPLAIN GOOD
FAITH,
NEGOTIATION:
TELL EACH OTHER THE
TRUTH
"Talk with a straight tongue"
"No one can speak with a forked tongue"
MAKE
CONCESSIONS
"Each of you must contribute
pieces to this puzzle"
OFFER
PROOF
"Facts are needed to shore
up one's case"
INDICATE PARTIES MUST NOT
DISRESPECT ONE ANOTHER
"Let's not press each other's hot buttons"
"Let's refrain from any fire-eating language"
MEDIATORS ESTABLISH AND
MAINTAIN A SENSE OF FAIRNESS
"I'm the keeper of the
bridge; I'm concerned about the safety of those using it
and
to ensure they follow the rules"
MEDIATORS
EXPLAIN MEDIATOR
NEUTRALITY
"I'm walking a balance beam.
If I lean to one side or the other, I fall"
MEDIATORS URGE MOVEMENT TOWARD AN AGREEMENT
"Let's turn the corner to an agreement and not look
back"
"We're beginning to see some
light at the end of this tunnel"
MEDIATORS
ENABLE A LARGER VISION TO HELP CREATE OPTIONS
"We're here to write some new music that you can both humm
to"
"The door is wide open to
new ideas"
MEDIATORS GENERATE CLIMATE OF
COOPERATION
"Now that you are in this hole, you need to build a ladder
together"
"Without the cooperation of you both, this mediation will be a one-legged
duck"
MEDIATORS
LISTEN TO EACH PARTY'S STORY
"Have you left any rocks unturned?" (from Amy
Starr)
MEDIATORS IMPLORE PARTIES
TO BE PATIENT WITH EACH
OTHER
"Negotiation is a tide, it
will ebb and flow"
"We can expect some rain to fall on our progress"
MEDIATORS
COMPLIMENT PARTIES ON THEIR PROGRESS
"Cooler heads have
prevailed"
"You are painting a picture
that you can both admire"
MEDIATORS
URGE PARTIES TO ABIDE BY (IMPLEMENT) THEIR SIGNED
AGREEMENT
"By abiding by your agreement will you eventually be out of the
woods"
MEDIATORS
RECOGNIZE AN IMPASS
"We're approaching a brick wall"
MEDIATORS
DEAL WITH THE IMPASS
"The
secret to unraveling string is to loosen it up"
"There are many roads to Rome"
"Let's slice this salami a little thinner" (small concessions to break a
deadlock)
"Let's breathe in some
fresh air" (go to caucus)
MEDIATORS MAKE SUGGESTIONS
TO ONE PARTY DURING A CAUCUS
"Why don't you throw 'em a bone?"
"I think you might be skating near thin ice"
"The ball is in your court"
MEDIATORS
SEPARATE
ISSUES
"Let's hang this on the clothesline for right now"
"Let's put that issue on a
back burner for right now"
MEDIATORS REFRAME
ISSUES FROM POSITIONS TO INTERESTS
"Reframe" itself is a metaphor.
This is the power of the metaphor, to see something
from a different
perspective
MEDIATORS INFORM PARTIES OF
THEIR BATNA [i.e., Best Alternative to a Negotiated
Agreement]
"Let's sidestep the strong
arm of the law."
"Relying on the decision of
the judge is, at best, a roll of the dice"
MEDIATORS FACILITATE
FACE-SAVING
"Let's not push each other's backs against the wall" (from Stella
Ting-Toomey)
MEDIATORS FACILITATE
COMMUNICATION
·
REGULATE
TURN-TAKING
"Each of you gets a piece of
this pie"
(Turn to one party) "It's
your turn at bat."
·
MAY INTERRUPT FOR THE
BENEFIT OF PROGRESS
"Things seem to be all over
the board, let me ask this. . ."
·
CONDUCT PERCEPTION
CHECKING
"Let me see if I have a
handle on your point?"
"Are you painting the
picture that _____________?"
·
ASK FOR CALMNESS
"Let's still the waters"
(from Gary Pollitt)
·
RESTATE ISSUES IN
NEUTRALLY-TONED LANGUAGE
"Let me guide us into calmer
water. Are you saying that
___________?"
·
SEEK
CLARITY
"Can you get to the bottom-line?"
MEDIATORS FACILITATE
CREATIVITY:
"I want both of you to think
out of the box"
"There's a solution buried
here somewhere"
MEDIATORS SUGGEST
TRADE-OFFS:
"You might take _____ from
the table; while you might take _____from the table"
MEDIATORS ISOLATE AN
UNDERLYING ISSUES THAT MAY PROVIDE A BASIS FOR THE
"Let me put this possibility on the table"
MEDIATORS SHOW RESPECT FOR
EACH OF THE PARTIES
"You are both royalty for
opting for mediation"
MEDIATORS URGE MOVEMENT AWAY
FROM REPEATING GRIEVANCES
"Let's not cycle around again on that point" (from Amy
Starr)
MEDIATORS WRITE UP THE
AGREEMENT
"Let me run the iron over this"
"Let me write up a smile."
"Let me connect the dots."
Any Grand
Metaphors?
As
indicated earlier, there are grand metaphors that spin off into many related
metaphors. Are there grand
metaphors for mediation?
Perhaps.
·
MEDIATION AS A GARDEN;
MEDIATOR AS A GARDNER
"Preparing the ground"
"To plant seeds, care for
them while they grow"
"May have to dig out an
occasional weed"
"The parties are growing
before your eyes"
"If the garden has a bad
season, another one will come"
"The sun will rise
tomorrow"
"Gardening for an
agreement"
·
MEDIATION AS A
TABLE
"Come to the
table"
"Put your concerns on the
table"
"Under the
table"
"Take from the
table"
"Let's table this"
Guidelines for Using
Metaphors
Norm
Page
War/battle
Games/contests
Allen
Dershowitz…
Additional
metaphors:
Below are other metaphors
I've collected that may be helpful.
You may have even others.
"Any party can call a
time-out"
"Mediation ensures a level playing field"
"No smoke screens allowed"
"Let's not use our pickaxes on each other"
"Let's stay on
track"
"Let's get back on target"
"We take from the table" --
not each other
"Let's keep our eyes on the
ball"
"I'm beginning to see the end of this movie"
"Let's bridge a path to an
agreement"
"There's a solution buried
in here somewhere"
"Let's get a handle on an
agreement"
"Let's iron out an
agreement"
"I think we have an
agreement in sight"
"Let's cut to the
chase"
"Let's clean this slate so
we can look to new options"
"A future can rise out of these ashes"
"Your agreement is a roadmap
to the future"
"In mediation, the road will
have some dips and turns"
"You are both on the same
track"
"We are still in a mind field"
"We are working this mine
together"
"Let's defuse this
bomb"
"I think there's a path you
can walk together"
"I
can only digest information so fast"
"I'm looking at murky water
here"
"I think you've struck pay
dirt."
"The tide has
turned"
"Tow the
line"
"Let's not throw out the
gold with the ore"
"Let's reset the clock"
"Put this in the living
room, shut the door"
"Keep this door a little
open"
"Let's close the door on
this issue"
"The past has left a bad taste in our mouths"
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"
"I don't have a horse in
this race" [from Bob Emry]
Sources:
Domenici, K., &
Littlejohn, S.W. (2001). Mediation:
Empowerment in conflict management.
Prospect
Heights: Waveland Press.
Folger, J.P. &, Jones,
T.S. (1994). New directions in mediation. Thousand
Oaks, CA: Sage.
Johnson, M. (Ed.)
(1981). Philosophical perspective on
metaphor. Minneapolis:
University of
Minnesota
Press.
Lakoff, G. & Johnson, M.
(1980). Metaphors we live by. Chicago & London: University of Chicago
Press.
Moore, C.W. (1996). The mediation process (2d Ed.). San
Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Yale, D. (1988). Metaphors in mediating. Mediation Quarterly, 22,
15-24.